No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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