You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
