how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
try to milk me bitch
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
