Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
