You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
