I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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