But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
