I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
