real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
