now i know why i became what i already was.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
