my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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