Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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