My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
