So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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