Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
