Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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