I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
