We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
