I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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