is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
