Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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