I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
