the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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