friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
