OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
