she was so not down for the gang bang
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
