I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
