people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
