you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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