That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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