physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I want her autograph on my taint
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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