Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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