This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
