I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
