Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
