the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
