That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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