a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
