You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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