And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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