Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Are we in a gay sports bar?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
