M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
