party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
