I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
