Yo dont text me then not text me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
