I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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