are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
