i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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