the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
