I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Boobs speak an international language.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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