Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
